Monday 6 September 2010

Sunset ...continues

Mummy was going to the cemetery just around the sun was setting a few times. I didn't notice it until I got there. The sun shines through clouds, making the ray beautiful and reaching your grave and Mummy. It's such a great feeling. Mummy feels connected with you, you are saying hello to Mummy. Mummy's friends give flowers for us to put on your grave. It's so nice. Jackie, Susan and Jackie. Mummy has two friends called Jackie and your daddy calls Mummy's mobile 'jackie machine'. It's good to have friends here, because you see Mummy used to miss her family and friends in Mongolia all the time. I'm not saying I don't now, but having friends help to settle in a new country. Mummy was in Mongolia two years ago. Mummy hasn't seen her sister for two years. Mummy misses her so so so much. She is Mummy's sister who Mummy would do anything in the world. Mummy used to look after her when she was little. Yeye - your sister and brother call her. Mummy's got a 'brother' too, but he is actually Mummy's cousin. He was brought up by your granny and granpa. He is a good brother. He has his own brothers and a sister. Now he is grown up and he seems closer to his own siblings. I guess he was separated from them because they had to. Poor things, lost their parents. Mummy has a lot of cousins in Mongolia, lost the number now, it was over 30 last time when I counted. Big family in Mongolia, but a tiny one here. Mummy is so glad that this blog and you can 'listen' to me. Mummy does not have to feel judged or bad about things. Mummy couldn't say 'I miss my family in Mongolia' before because people would think I couldn't settle here and make a living. So Mummy hid that feeling shoved it to the back of my head. Mummy is upset just now, but Mummy will go on and make sure this book is done. Mummy loves you dearly and it seems this is Mummy's therapy and a focus to deal with your death. So that I can move on with my life. Love you Billy Buuz. Night night. XXXXXXXXXXX

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