Hallo Billy buuz, Mummy's big boy. Many children around your age are turning 4 this year. A week tomorrow is your birthday. Mummy cried today after reading a short story which was written by a member of Mummy's writers' club. It reminded Mummy of you, your hand prints and how your Daddy wanted to get your name tattooed. Mummy has a tattoo to remind you already. It's the c-section wound, your entrance to the world. Mummy likes listening to I Have A Dream by ABBA while having a shower. It feels somehow Mummy connects with you, I believe in angels ... Something good in everything I see ...
Our book is coming out in January and Mummy's publisher is organising the book launch events. They will be in Glasgow, Ayr, Edinburgh and London. That's the plan. We have two dates so far, still organising them. Mummy will invite the people who came to your funeral. Mummy and Daddy were touched to see them turning up to be there for us.
Your ovoo is hoping to come for Christmas, New Year and the book launch. He'd applied for his visa. The last time he was here was for your funeral. Mummy's book starts with his departure after that visit ...
Your big brother and sisters are doing well, growing up fast. Your little sister is very good at picking up words and phrases. Mummy keeps hearing herself back. She is very funny. She makes us all smile. Mummy was telling off your big brother because he was messing about while doing his homework and she piped up: Mummy, don worry. He's fine. He's awright.
That made us laugh and your big brother was so proud of her.
Mummy felt good having the book in her hand and it felt something tangible was done for you. But Mummy still feels teary at times as some things trigger her emotions like today's story. Mummy was trying to hide her tears from your big brother and sister, had to pretend busy doing something, not facing them.
We love you baby, we will never forget you, we will always remember you. Mummy's lovely boy. Good night. XXXX Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder where you are, lovely tiny angel star. XXXX