Thursday 12 August 2010


Mummy likes to think that you are everywhere and specially when I see a butterfly, I'm so glad to see it. I feel you are visiting Mummy, saying hello, letting me know you are ok, free from pain, flying up and down, paying visits to the beautiful colourful flowers, choosing which one you want to land. That's my boy, knowing what to do, not letting others making decisions for you. Daddy and Mummy are thinking of having a headtone for you, dark green granite with silver writing on it. The writing will be mixture of English and Mongolian words. You are a symbol of many nice things, relationships - personal and countries, religions and cultures. Mummy and Daddy did everything we could while you were here with us. You were scheduled to be baptised at 10am on the day you died, but the consultant who was on shift that night thought it was better to do it sooner than later because we almost lost you during the night. So we brought it forward and you were baptised at 5am in the morning, with your Mummy and Daddy and the hospital chaplain around you, in the middle of the closed curtains in the intensive care unit. Later, the chaplain managed to find a nun from the Buddhist community and we got you blessed, too. Mummy felt better having the Buddhist imput, Mummy felt complete and was ready to let you go and say my goodbye. It was very hard. We had to let you go because we loved you so much, it was harsh to keep you here with us when you were not enjoying life, depending on machines, every organ failing one after another. Yeah, that's why Mummy likes to see butterflies and hope that my baby boy is flying in the sky, pain free, waving hello to his Mummy with its beautiful wings, playing in the summer breeze, putting a smile on Mummy's face... my lovely baby boy, I love you very much. Billy Buuz XXXX

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