Thursday, 25 November 2010

Buuzanhuu - Billy Buuz

Mummy's been avoiding any writing recently, around your birthday. It was hard to bring myself and write about you. I know I do it more than others, but Mummy went through a strange phase, vulnerable. Today, Mummy is feeling not bad, in fact feel good that I've written half a chapter. So it was a good productive day. The newspaper article has been read by many people and now many people know about you. That's what Mummy wanted to do. It will be just a start. Mummy is going to write this book and it is done for you all, my babies. Mummy would be happy to look back. You would all know who your Mummy was and who Billy was and should not forget how life can be and help others if they are going through rough times. Nobody chooses to be disabled, nobody chooses to be unloved. Then again, sometimes you have to love yourself to get love back I guess. Many people will have different opinions, some might support us and some might not. Some people might feel that what Mummy is doing is extreme in dealing with your death. But Mummy will be happy to answer that. People need to picture themselves in our shoes. How would you feel if your own baby is gone? You will never ever going to see him or her again? You will never ever going to kiss them goodnight or hold their hands. Now... think again. Hopefully, many will understand and support us, Billy Buuz. Mummy'll take everything thrown at us, that's fine if it's what it takes just to raise awareness and help others to open themselves and feel Ok about talking about their hurt and pain. Ok, Billy Mummy'll go and pick up your smart pants brother from school. Love you, Love you, Billy. XXXXX

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