Your Birthday

Hallo baby boy. I know it looks anf feels like I'm pretending that you are not dead. But you are Mummy's baby boy and who can say it's right or wrong. Mummy was in tears and was very upset on Saturday the day before your birthday. On your birthday though - Mummy was fine. We made a milk chocolate cake. You brother wanted to make it as it had the word milk in it. He remembered you liked milk.:-) He also talked about you at school when it was the news time in his class. He said: It was my baby brother's birthday and we made a cake, put flowers and candles at the cemetery. You sister made beautiful flower arrangement in the shape of your name BILLY. She chose the flowers herself and decorated the oasis all evening. We had a candle on your cake and your brother and sister blew it out for you in front of your photo. It was a moving moment. We managed to hold our tears. I could see your sister's eyes were filling up, but she was brave. Your brother can't handle Mummy's tears, no wonder poor thing. He was asking me: What are you doing? What are you on? when I was writing on your blog with my tears running down nonstop. He gets teary himself, so Mummy stopped and comforted him and decided to do it while they are not home. They are both at school now. You daddy is working. He bought beautiful candles on your birthday and lit them at your grave. It was a calm day without any wind. The candles stayed lit all day and night. It was a clear day and night. We put your bunting outside our house to remember you and lit candles in the garden too. We went out for lunch celebrating your birthday. It was heavy emotionally, but we loved you and celebrated your birth and remembered our nice memories. The time flies, one year already. Mummy remembers you being born; and you are not here now. Mummy will make you live in people's mind and help others. Mummy's clever boy. Love you loads. XXXXXX