Our Billy

It has been a week or so since the last blog. Mummy has been busy with writing, asking people to proofread and help Mummy. It can be daunting sometimes because of the grammar, but Mummy loves writing. It comes out easily. Mummy doesn't know the quality, but Hey, you would be proud of Mummy, wouldn't you? Mummy has been missing you terribly last two days. I look at your picture and feel like hugging and cuddling you. It's such a shame, you are not here. Mummy tries to picture you sitting on my lap, looking around wondering what is going around you. Mummy and Daddy's friends' babies reached one this week. Mummy sent cards and little things. We were supposed to see your first birthday and more. Mummy will make a cake for your birthday and put it in front of your picture and put a slice at your grave. Your headstone is up now. It is dark green granite with silver writing. It says your names, date of birth and death, and a phrase in Mongolian 'Manai Billy Buuz Huu' meaning 'Our Billy Buuz Son'. That's how we called you. Mummy, Daddy, Granny and Granpa, we all called you like that. Mummy wants to help people through writing and give them the permission to feel happy, sad and angry. Mummy sees so many people keep their thoughts and grief to themselves, can't open it, even scared of opening the truth. Mummy feels it is healthy to talk about. Well that is if someone does not have something to regret. Some people realise the value of anything after it's gone. It's the same with people. It's better doing things for these loved ones while they are alive, not regreting afterwards. Then again it's easier said than done. Perhaps, Mummy can just help people to open up feel better through crying, talking and feeling emotions. Mummy saw a film called Eat Pray Love. It was a woman's journey in life. Interesting. People always find something to be unhappy about when life is perfect, or rather it seems perfect. We don't really know why I guess. Listen to your Mummy now. Mummy is talking to you about big grown up things. Mummy's clever boy, you are. Mummy will describe you with the best words in any language. Why? Because you are my boy, who would say that about you if your Mummy didn't. Mummy called you 'clever' when you were with us. Some people didn't like that. They said 'He would never be clever'. In Mummy's eyes, you are the most clever baby boy. Ok, Mummy'll go and write some about my childhood. Mummy is putting our story together in the book. You will live forever, in people's minds and in literture. Mummy is determined to do this for you three. You look out for Mummy and we'll get there. Billy Buuz, clever boy. Night night. XXXXX