Monday 12 July 2010

Your names...

Mummy added a name on your other names just before you died. You were named after your Mongolian papa and your Scottish ancestors. The added name is Sanchir, it means Saturn in Tibetan. Mummy gave you this name, so that you will be bright in the sky and also because you were born on a Saturday. In Mongolian tradition, they don't name babies after a living person, they think the name will be too heavy to carry and the baby might face difficulties. On the other hand and on the other side of earth in Scotland, it's a tradition to be named after their fathers, mothers and relatives no matter if they are living or not. Mummy and Daddy thought it would be nice to have our boys named after our dads, your brother has your Irish/Scottish papa's name and you had your Mongolian papa's name. Perhaps, I wonder, I should have followed the Mongolian tradition? Then again there is a saying 'When you are in Rome do as the Romans do'. Well, now here in Scotland, you are buried, Mummy's flesh and blood is buried here. So Mummy feels my roots are planted here. So Mummy will make the most of what we have here and live life to the full. I miss you, I was looking at the photo of my three babies, you with your brother and sister. You look like a doll on your sister's lap. Mummy remembers how light you were, your sister loved holding you. She used to come home running from school to see you and give you kisses and cuddle you. She still sleeps cuddling your tiny baby suits. Mummy gave a block of your hair to your sister. Mummy was asking questions from your sister the other day and asked 'What 3 things would you take in case of a fire?' She said 'Passports, money and Billy's hair'. Mummy's glad that your brother and sister talk about you. They even made a character on the Wii called Billy. It's funny hearing them racing on the Wii and shouting 'Go Billy, Go'. It's nice to have you around like that. Also people address us including your name in the letters and cards. We are choosing your headstone and Daddy has been going to places to see the different types. Daddy printed off a sample and we stared at it and then we hugged each other with tears in our eyes. We didn't expect to prepare your headstone, we expected to hold your hands and walk down the street, we expected to see your smiles, your first tooth, first words and tantrums, not writing your name on a headstone. When we buried you, Mummy put you in your brother's mongolian deel, it's a brown silk deel that your granny made. I also dressed you in the top says 'My sister loves me', Mummy put your dummy beside you, too. You loved your dummy, Mummy hoped that it might strengthen your muscles in your mouth and help with your speech. Perhaps, it didn't help you, it might have taken all your energy and made you lose weight. Not sure, so many things that Mummy thinks, may be this may be that. Ok, Mummy'll go to bed and try to dream about you and see you. Night night. Billy Buuz, baby boy. XXXXXXX

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