Angry, empty and sad...

Mummy used to feel you around with everything, but yesterday I felt I couldn't feel you anywhere, you were gone and I felt empty. Mummy was putting the washing out and then started lying down on the bench, gradually my tears came out and dripping on the bench. It was sunny and Saturday, we all had a nice time home. Mummy went to empty and clean your Granny's house and missed her too. Mummy is doing it for her not other people. She would have wanted her house nice and tidy even after she is gone. Mummy and Daddy didn't want other strangers going through her things although it would have probably been easier to have people around and get everything done. Mummy went to the cemetery in the evening even though your Daddy and brother had been there already in the morning. Mummy watered the flowers, cleared up the dead flowers and stayed there for a while. Mummy used to worry about having any plants or flowers after you died. I didn't want anything else to die because even a petal of a flower was hard to see because it died. It reminded me of you dying. Today it's Fathers' day, your Daddy don't want to make it special this year, we'll go to the cemetery and might go out for lunch. I know it was hard for Mummy on Mothers' day, you were missing. Your sister made 5 models with clay. 5 of us. You are sitting on Mummy's lap. Your Daddy's glasses and beard look funny. She put every little detail in there. I'll continue later, Daddy's coming down...