Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Scottish Daily Record Article

Hello Billy buuz, it has been busy time with many events to organise. Also it's the winter time and the runny nose army has arrived in our house. Your baby sister is very cute, she says: I'm not well, Mummy. Runny nose! So Mummy leaves whatever she is doing and attends to her nose. She is in a good mood though, dancing while watching the Night Garden programme on Cbeebies. She is very funny. She makes a little mistake while dancing and says very quickly 'sorry sorry' and carries on dancing. Aww, Mummy loves this stage. Toddlers starting to walk and talk and their personality starting to show more than before.
Your big brother is doing well in his football but he was off school today because of a cold. The only one who is out at school is your big sister. Mummy keeps remembering hor your Mongolian grandfather and grandmother (ovoo and emee) used to warn Mummy to wear warm clothes. Now Mummy has turned into them herself. Scotland is warmer than Mongolia in winter but it's damp. So it feels cold too. Mummy used to wear felt boots and sheep skin deels and later on marmot skin coat.

Mummy was on Daily Record newspaper last Saturday. Mummy will put a link here. The article has over 800 likes and shares on Facebook and about 30 tweets on Twitter. The journalist did a good job.

THIS Christmas there will be an extra plate of food set out on the table at the Ramsay house in Troon for baby Billy, who was born with Down’s Syndrome and lived for only three months.
When someone celebrates a birthday in the family, Uuganaa Ramsay will cut an extra slice of cake for Billy and when her other three children sign a card they’ll always add their lost little brother’s name.
Billy died in February 2010 but he’ll never be forgotten by his family and now Uuganaa has written a book about moving from Mongolia to Scotland and how she coped with the tragic death of her child...
The article link is here. 
Love you Billy. XXXX

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Quiet Birthday

Hallo Billy buuz. Happy birthday, baby boy. Not sure if it's a right thing to say. Today was a quiet day. Your Daddy took a day off from work and we stayed at home mostly. Mummy was trying to spend the day without tears saying to herself that today was about your birth. But it's not easy ... the emptiness is overwhelming and very emotional ... missing you.

Tears heading south
Till wets mouth
Funeral music
Floats in grief

Candle burns
Crackles with rain
Gravestone cries
Good night, baby boy. Love you loads. XXXX

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Book launch prep

Hallo Billy buuz, Mummy's big boy. Many children around your age are turning 4 this year. A week tomorrow is your birthday. Mummy cried today after reading a short story which was written by a member of Mummy's writers' club. It reminded Mummy of you, your hand prints and how your Daddy wanted to get your name tattooed. Mummy has a tattoo to remind you already. It's the c-section wound, your entrance to the world. Mummy likes listening to I Have A Dream by ABBA while having a shower. It feels somehow Mummy connects with you, I believe in angels ... Something good in everything I see ...

Our book is coming out in January and Mummy's publisher is organising the book launch events. They will be in Glasgow, Ayr, Edinburgh and London. That's the plan. We have two dates so far, still organising them. Mummy will invite the people who came to your funeral. Mummy and Daddy were touched to see them turning up to be there for us.

Your ovoo is hoping to come for Christmas, New Year and the book launch. He'd applied for his visa. The last time he was here was for your funeral. Mummy's book starts with his departure after that visit ...

Your big brother and sisters are doing well, growing up fast. Your little sister is very good at picking up words and phrases. Mummy keeps hearing herself back. She is very funny. She makes us all smile. Mummy was telling off your big brother because he was messing about while doing his homework and she piped up: Mummy, don worry. He's fine. He's awright.
That made us laugh and your big brother was so proud of her.

Mummy felt good having the book in her hand and it felt something tangible was done for you. But Mummy still feels teary at times as some things trigger her emotions like today's story. Mummy was trying to hide her tears from your big brother and sister, had to pretend busy doing something, not facing them.

We love you baby, we will never forget you, we will always remember you. Mummy's lovely boy. Good night. XXXX Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder where you are, lovely tiny angel star. XXXX