Hallo Billy Buuz, Mummy's baby boy. Mummy was going through some photos of you a couple of days ago to send to a magazine with an article Mummy wrote. Your Daddy helped by choosing some too. Mummy has to detach her feelings sometimes because it's quite sad looking through your photos and happy at the same time while looking at your little face and eyes. Sweet and sour feeling, fragile, Mummy's tears just sitting there about to burst if anything happens to poke her hurt a little bit more. Mummy is aware of these feelings and most of the time now Mummy tries not to cry because the times are not right. Your brother and sisters are about to come home or they are there. So Mummy lock her feelings, but... but writing here after they are in bed is the best suited time. Your Daddy knows exactly how Mummy feels without talking to each other. There was a programme on tonight on TV called 'Call the Midwife.' They had a funeral for a baby boy. Mummy and Daddy don't really watch that programme normally, it just happened to be on and we half watched it. It brought back many memories and Mummy remembers you in a little coffin, looking so perfect. The thing Mummy didn't realise then was once that coffin was closed that was it. We were never to see you ever again.
Mummy's little boy came for a reason, woke Mummy up. Recently, Mummy was listening to a Scottish writer Janice Galloway's talk at her writers' club. Janice Galloway said: 'When someone dies they give you a gift.' Well, Mummy felt it was true in your case. You gave Mummy the gift of courage, braveness and creativity. Mummy is determined to leave your name in history. There will be people who thinks Mummy is nuts. But hey, we can do it, we will, baby.
Last week, Mummy went to London to attend a reception at the Whitehall where the Foreign and Commonwealth Office is. The event was to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Mongolian and British Diplomatic relations. Mummy wore her red deel and had her hair up and made an effort to fit the occassion. To Mummy's surprise there were a few influential people including William Hague and Michael Howard and other ambassadors. Mummy saw Baabaa, too. He is Mummy's uncle, he is your Mongolian granny's big brother. Mummy had some photos taken with some people.
Yeye is coming soon. So excited, can't wait. Love you baby, have to finish this post for some reason it keeps giving an error saying can't save it. So Mummy'll continue another day. Brightest star in the sky. Night night. Love you so much, Mummy's baby boy. XXXXXXXX