Birthday boy

Hallo Billy Buuz. It is getting cold now and our extension work is almost done. Mummy and Daddy have been busy with painting the walls, putting floors down and hanging curtains. The house is looking much nicer now. Today we had some carpet down on the stairs and the landings.

We have been lighting candles for you and every day, yes, every day we talk about you, think about you and share little things with you. In fact there is a chocolate cupcake in front of your photo at the moment beside a lit candle.

On your birthday we went out for dinner. All of us. Your sisters, brother and Mummy and Daddy. We also went to the cemetery and lit candles and put flowers. Mummy went first with your baby sister. She sat on her blanket while Mummy put the candle and the flowers down on your grave. It was a cold and rainy day. Your little sister saw the sweeties on your grave and started saying 'yum, yum.' Jackie had left a packet of Jelly Tots for you. So we had some of that. She enjoyed some of it and we brought it back home with us. Your big brother helped himself with most of that. It's better that way, otherwise it would have attracted all sorts left open outside.

You would have been 3 this year and probably thinking of going to nursery or something. Mummy's brave little man you were. Mummy still pictures you enjoying your bath in Mummy's arms and your big brother and big sister all going 'awww.' Mummy thought Mummy was doing well handling her emotions, but it's unpredictable. It can start suddenly, anything can trigger Mummy's tears reminding you, making her miss you. Recently Mummy bumped into a nice nurse who looked after you just after you were born. She was always nice, so kind. That kind of profession needs people like her. Mummy thought it must be nice for them to see the babies they looked after if they lived. Growing taller and walking and talking.

 Ok, Mummy needs to stop now, she started to sniff and wiping her tears in anything she can see past the tears, baby. Night night, baby boy. Mummy's brightest star in the sky. Love you loads. Hope there is a place that I can meet you again. Somewhere in the middle of million stars. XXXXX