Mummy and Daddy's birthdays

Hallo Billy Buuz. It's been very hot recently and we have been enjoying the sunshine. It was your Daddy's birthday last week and Mummy's this week. We both had a good time, spent our days with your brother and sisters. We also went to the cemetery and lit candles for you. We also put some birthday cake in front of your photo. Mummy was emotional on her birthday. It was just lovely surrounded by your sisters and brother. Your Daddy made a big fuss and gave Mummy a big bunch of roses. It was lovely, but Mummy missed you. Mummy looked at your photo and quietly missed you being here with us...

Yesterday, your brother spotted a beautiful butterfly and Mummy knew you were there, just saying hello and reminding Mummy that you were around. It was lovely. It's a simple thing, but Mummy loves it when we see any butterflies.

Your sister went for a sleepover recently and she had left a letter to your brother on his bed. So he read it when he went to bed. She had asked him to look after your sock that she keeps normally. That sock has your hair.

We have been busy with the building work and it is going well. So we will have a nice room for your baby sister. At the moment everybody is a bit cramped, but we'll get there soon. Mummy doesn't mind after all she grew up in a yurt.

Billy, Mummy misses you, but Mummy will do everything she can to raise awareness on the term Mongol and help people with learning difficulties and their families. Mummy has been experiencing many obstacles. Some people think Mongol means a disfigured child, some people think Mongol means stupid, some people think Mongol means Down syndrome when it only means Mongolian as a nationality. Mummy thinks it's time to change that, don't you think? Mummy knows you are there and Mummy is doing exactly what she said she would do. Remember, people will remember you, Mummy's baby boy. Mummy's baby boy changed Mummy forever. Mummy became brave and can speak for people who can't talk about social stigma, injustice and human rights. Well, Mummy was told that the world does not lack her input. Well, it does, because we all matter, because Mummy does not want your brother and sisters and other many young people feel ashamed to be Mongolian or feel hurt when someone nasty calls anyone Mongol. We can do it baby. We can. Good night, baby boy. Love you. XXXX

The house

Hi Billy, who's mama's good baby boy?! We are very busy with the extension and attic work started. The house has a hole on top and they put the window frame on at the moment. So the house is cold and messy. But we are very excited as there's a change every day. The house you knew is changing into bigger one with more rooms. You know your Mummy grew up in a ger, so it's a bit too much for Mummy. But hey, who's complaining. :) Mummy is busy with different things as usual. Mummy met another mother who has a son with cerebral palsy. She is lovely and we set up a secret group for other Mongolian parents with disabled children. The group is on Facebook. The group is called Хайр Бялхсан Гэр in Mongolian, meaning a house that is overflowing with love. We thought this group would provide a help and support for parents and family members psychologically and emotionally. We definitely needed that kind of help. Mummy and Daddy and your big sister still go to the cemetery and light candles. Yesterday, Mummy went there on her own. It was a teary time, Mummy swallawed and swallwed her tears and it kept coming out. Then had to let it run. Mummy tries not to cry at your grave. Mummy remembers the poem saying:


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

  Mummy is going to London soon to attend a big awards ceremony. This is for Mongolian women who live in Europe and have done good things for others or raised Mongolian profile in the West. The Mongolian Honorary Consul in Scotland and the Scottish Mongolian friendship society people are supporting Mummy and another woman from Scotland. It's very nice of them. Mummy is happy that the term 'Mongol' will be talked about and mentioned there. Also people will find out what Down syndrome is if they don't already know. So it is a good step to raise awareness. Mummy is also looking forward to meeting inspiring people at this ceremony and a Mongolian singer Jargalsaikhan singing, too. Mummy hasn't really been to any events like this since Mummy moved to Britain. Jackie is coming with me. Isn't she great?! Difficult times and happy times, she is there. Mummy's friend and your Godmother. Your baby sister is asleep now, in her car seat in the dining room. The builders are making so much noise, drilling, cutting, hammering and talking. So she couldn't sleep in her cot. She is the one most affected by the work not having naps. After all, we are making a room for her. So she'll have to put up with it. :)
 She is learning to stand and started to babble and copy words and sounds now. She is at that great stage. Mummy doesn't take your baby sister to parent and toddlers' group much. Mummy and Daddy are scared she would get all sorts of colds and infections. We want her to grow and become a bit bigger to fight any germs. After you, we are scared. Oh, this is good Billy buuz. Mummy feels so much better writing to you. Mummy's lovely boy. Mummy wishes she could kiss you one more time. The gravestone is not you, Mummy kissed your name a few times, but it's not you cold and still. Mummy's boy is in our hearts, warm and alive. Missing you baby. Love you baby boy. XXXX