Hallo Billy. It was a wintery day today, but we had a good day. The schools are on holiday and your big sister and brother are off school. Ella is doing well, she is almost rolling over. She is at that cute stage, smiling all the time and getting chubbier every day.
Last Friday, Mummy was on 3TFM radio talking about you and read her poem Mongol. There was a little girl about 7 called Emma. Emma has Down's syndrome and she was really lovely. She got her photo taken with Mummy, leaning against Mummy putting her head against Mummy's head. Mummy missed you. You could have, should have been here with us. And there were people from Sainsbury's store supporting Down's Syndrome Scotland. One of them is called Billy. Mummy liked him, because he is Billy, like my baby boy. Mummy misses you so much. Eddy the radio presenter asked if Mummy was ok to talk about you before Mummy spoke on air. Mummy is ok, more than ok. Mummy is fuelled with energy and determination to do things in memeory of her little baby boy. So Mummy read her poem and felt stronger for doing it and wanted to support others who are in the same situation. Mummy knows why Eddy asked that because in one of the previous interview Mummy paused. The reason was Mummy always finds it hard to say how many children Mummy has. Of course you will always be Mummy's baby and Mummy will say that. Sometimes, people ask more showing an interest and ask how old you all are. Then Mummy gets a bit puzzled because Mummy thinks you are 3 months old all the time. But you would have been 2 this November. Mummy is a bit anxious about your birthday approaching. Another month, then that's it.
We all went to a friends' boy's birthday party last weekend. It was his 2nd birthday. He was so cute, running round, playing, talking... As he blew the two candles on his cake Mummy thought of you, this sudden rush of tears filled Mummy, but they stayed in. Mummy can control herself to certain extent now. So it's good.
It's almost midnight now. Mummy seems to write about this time most days. This writing bug caught her to write and talk about you and many other life's important things. So baby Billy, bye for now. We are all well. Love you, love you, love you. Night my baby. XXXXX
Billy
Monday, 17 October 2011
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Busy bee
or Twitter shall I say? Well well Billy. You don't believe how Mummy is addicted to Twitter. Your Daddy is feeling a bit left out. He does support Mummy a lot. Mummy is lucky. Your sister turned 13 last week and we had 5 of her friends came for a sleepover. They had fun. It's so good to see your sister has many friends. Your big brother is well, he is enjoying school. Although he loves playing on the new PC we have now. Not only him, Mummy is on it quite a bit too. Saying that your baby sister is still young and nappies, naps, bibs and bottles ... seem to be Mummy's day-to-day things. Mummy loves having her just like having all of you, really. She is the smiliest of all. I'm sure you are watching us and see her smiling all the time. Mummy still feels you sent her to us. Mummy is going to put a photo of your sister here. Now Mummy is ready to show who she is and do things more openly. That's why Mummy has a website now. Your Daddy helped to put it together and Mummy is going to put more light-hearted things on it. See, you changed Mummy. Losing you made Mummy braver and she wants to make the most of what we have now.
People won't understand it that easily, unless they experienced similar loss. We had a lovely birthday cake on your sister's birthday and put yours in front of your photo. It's nice to do that, but it's so so so sad. Mummy so wishes you were here. My red-headed angel boy. We miss you so much. We, including your 6-year-old brother go silent for a few minutes swallowing our tears and pull ourselves together. Mummy wrote few lines to raise awareness about Down syndrome and the term 'Mongol.' People casually throw it in their daily conversation. How ignorant.
Mongol
You can call me Mongol
Because I am.
But please don’t call someone with Down’s Syndrome ‘Mongol’ or ‘Mongo.’
You will hurt not only me but many
‘Billy’ we called our little boy when he was born
‘Buuz’ I named him when he came home
My baby was a Mongol not because he had Down’s Syndrome
But because his mummy is Mongolian
You can call me Mongol
Because I am.
But please don’t call someone with Down’s Syndrome ‘Mongol’ or ‘Mongo.’
You will hurt not only me but many
People won't understand it that easily, unless they experienced similar loss. We had a lovely birthday cake on your sister's birthday and put yours in front of your photo. It's nice to do that, but it's so so so sad. Mummy so wishes you were here. My red-headed angel boy. We miss you so much. We, including your 6-year-old brother go silent for a few minutes swallowing our tears and pull ourselves together. Mummy wrote few lines to raise awareness about Down syndrome and the term 'Mongol.' People casually throw it in their daily conversation. How ignorant.
Mongol
You can call me Mongol
Because I am.
But please don’t call someone with Down’s Syndrome ‘Mongol’ or ‘Mongo.’
You will hurt not only me but many
‘Billy’ we called our little boy when he was born
‘Buuz’ I named him when he came home
My baby was a Mongol not because he had Down’s Syndrome
But because his mummy is Mongolian
You can call me Mongol
Because I am.
But please don’t call someone with Down’s Syndrome ‘Mongol’ or ‘Mongo.’
You will hurt not only me but many
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